Arriving in our limo with the long line of cars behind us with their flashing hazard lights we reached our destination, Jefferson Barracks. The place looked unfinished and the rows were hardly filled. There were still about twenty thousand laid to rest and more on the way, ours included. It was the first time my family had ever been there (mom, grandma, and sister) and we were all astonished by the sight. The stop at this sorrowful place took about thirty minutes in total. Tears welled in our eyes as the ceremony for our beloved went on and it was a small gathering since it was the year of Covid, 2020. My family sat on a bench in an area they have designated for saying goodbye to their loved ones. My mom and grandma sat down with anguish smeared across their faces and waited for the ceremony to begin. Two soldiers in the Navy branch helped direct the ceremony. They each took a shot with the guns they held in their white-gloved hands. The shots were loud enough for the entire state to hear and it made everyone around us weep. The soldiers then gave my grandma the flag with the brightest reds, whites, and blues I had ever seen. 

     Jefferson Barracks was a place of meaning. Meaning to me, my sister, my mom, and especially my grandma. This would be the place she belongs when God decides it is her time. This place feels like a dove is envisioned, peaceful. It reminds me of so many memories I had with my grandpa and every time I visit a rush of memories becomes apparent in my mind. The way my grandpa laughed and acted goofy. How he wouldn’t smile for pictures but we could always persuade him to for our selfies. This place wasn’t somewhere in my heart at the beginning of my life but it will always be a memorable place from now until I pass on. 

     Jefferson Barracks has shaped the way I think about all of the lives others have lost and the way I perceive nature. It has made me more conscious of the space around us and it has made me rethink the world we live in. Jefferson Barracks is a beautiful place filled with rows and rows of white marble graves. They fill the grass lots with them until there is no more room and they keep the place clean and cut. The first time we went here after the burial I cried silently so no one could hear or see while trying to comfort my family. They needed more comfort than I did and I didn’t want any attention on my silent but loud tears running down my cheek. I like to view this place as my own secret heaven on earth. It calms all my nerves and anxiety when I visit and just driving around viewing all of the white rows takes all of the stress I have been carrying off my shoulders. This is the one place where I have felt free for a long while, no distractions, no one talking, no fights or arguments, just peace. 

     In the field, there are deer that pick at the grass and run around with the rest of the deer. The does you see running around with their fawns while the bucks stand and watch. This place is where everyone goes for family, even the deer you see on occasion. If I could, I would stay at this place all day and just observe the scenery. This place wasn’t just somewhere to go visit your loved one, it was a place where the entire world stopped and you could be at peace. Six feet had never felt so far yet I still feel at peace when thinking about this wonderland. It has the brightest grass you will ever see and there is always construction being done. 

     As I walk up to my grandpa’s stone I pick up the leftover rocks that have fallen off the other graves and set them back up. The flowers in my hand are blowing from the wind as I climb up the hill that he was placed on. As we all stand around his stone we look at my grandma to see the saddened expression on her face. It is complete silence and I am the one who fills the grave with accessories making it even more beautiful. We sat in even more silence just staring, and then we walked slowly back down the hill and back in our car. My family drove around Jefferson Barracks for about twenty minutes and then we set off home. 

     Life without this place could be the same, but I am glad I was exposed to this wonderland. It gave me insight into something I didn’t know existed and it gave me a connection more powerful than God could create. I will always look back on this place as a tranquil, undisturbed site where my grandpa lays to rest. He will forever be in my heart and so will Jefferson Barracks. When I think of heaven and where he is I think of this place and how this was such a good spot to be. This is our own heaven on earth and it reminds me that a godly place can exist where I do as well. It gives me hope and peace and takes away things that reside in my mind that I need to leave behind, and they do when I visit. This is my favorite place on earth and it will always be.